Someone once asked me why I picked ‘Vermin’ as a screen name. Actually no one ever did but let’s just say it happened. So, I called the lads ‘n lasses from Blue Sky Productions and told them how things are. And This is what they came up with. That’s me right there, hanging from my tongue and stretching to impossible lengths to get what I want, and still not getting it. I almost feel sorry for the lil’ runt. Almost.
Ssoooo.. what time is it? Oh wait I remember. Ass-kicking time. No more excuses now. No more waiting. Next week, my friend and I will have a place to live, our private little hell. New beds to hide our demons under, new closets to put our skeletons in. It doesn’t matter much what the place looks like; I know we can make it a home. We are alike, aside from differences on the outside we are almost the same. Someone to rock with, someone to crash and burn with. It’s a turn I can’t see beyond, I have no idea what I’m getting myself into. But I don’t care. I can take whatever comes my way. "Like a bullet through a flock of doves."
It’s still surprising how little my ex has to do to get me on my knees. She only needs to look at me in the wrong way and I’m a mess for the rest of the week. There are three facets to the crap I’m going through: The past, remembering holding her, loving her, knowing what she looks like under those clothes. The future, the slowly dawning knowledge that maybe we’re not meant to be together, that we won’t grow old together, no matter how logic that seems when I’m near her. And third and most of all: feeling so damn weak and dumb, unable to just, Get Over It. I’m aware that I seem like a 16-year old adolescent that can’t get over his girlfriend dumping him. Boo Hoo and life no longer makes sense.
My more recently ended relationship, however, has turned into what Maynard James Keenan would call, "Passive". Haven’t seen her since about a week before she broke up, has only returned messages to the question "Why do I feel like an idiot expecting to hear from you", responding "I’m busy." Last time was about 3 weeks ago, maybe more. I’m supposed to see her tonight at a party, I’m not quite sure I want to go.
Oh look at that, another paragraph about past love. Somebody call From Autumn To Ashes, I think I found a theme for their next album.