The tit octopus

There are very very few music bands or genres I actually Hate. Music is a lot like art, if you don’t like it, you probably don’t even get it. You don’t know the artists, you don’t know their motives and why they like the music they make.

However, there are exceptions. And one was added to them recently, when I was asked to do the set of none other than the Backstreet Boys. Load-In, Stand-By, Show Crew, and Load-Out. That means, from 8 in the morning to somewhere around the next morning, continuous work. That also means I saw both the soundcheck and show from up close.

Best way to describe it? A bunch of fucking idiots behaving like fucking idiots and laughing at how fucking idiot they are. And especially the little blond one. If any of the pyro (fireworks) would have ended up on his head and set his hair on fire, I would masturbate.

When everything is set up, tested and tuned by the permanents, we locals are no longer allowed anywhere near it. Because it’s expensive, sensitive equipment with wires all over the place and things not meant to be moved or  touched once set in place. Because if we trip over a wire, or if we press the wrong button, the place goes ker-BLAM and we enter a world of shit. The show is fucked, the permanents are fucked, the locals are fucked, the permanents’ company is fucked, the locals’ company is fucked, the fans don’t get the show they paid for (you don’t want to tell backstreet boys fans they can’t watch the show), in other words, we are -all- fucking fucked. All… except the artist, who gets paid either way for doing jack sjitt, and has one less show to worry about. So they don’t see why there’s a roadie screaming "For The Love Of Mother Mary, Please Stop That Before You’ll Kill Us All!" when they’re throwing an american football (the egg-shaped kind, I don’t know the name) around the stage. So they ignore him, almost having the ball crash into the Electric System and other places where you don’t want american egg-shaped footballs.

Other than that, they just made an idiot out of themselves on stage during the soundcheck, watched by the screaming fans that won a ticket to it. "Yeah we’re a bit crazy" You Wish, Sucker.

 

The up side, however, was the 2 hours that my friend/colleague spent watching the fans pour in. As usual, the first ran screaming towards center-stage to claim their spot. But that day was special.

The first one to arrive and cling to the crash-barriers, was actually a guy, around my age. I don’t think I need to draw any pictures if I say he had a funny way of saying "now this is my spot and there’s no way I’m going anywhere."

Then there was a girl (short skirt) who sat down with her back against the barriers, and trying to take as much place for her friends, opened her legs widely. I noticed my friend’s jaw dropping and I think my face must have been something the like.

Number 12 and 13 (or something) were friends, holding hands as they stormed forward. Forest National, the place we were at, goes downhill towards the stage. It’s unique in that sense and the slope can be removed if nescessary. Encouraged by eachother and surprised by the effect of gravity, they soon reached higher speed than they could handle and one tripped. I could almost see it happen in slow-motion. Trying to stay upright, she ran even faster, eventually launching herself forward and dropping squat on her face. My friend and I both winced simultaniously. It was too far off to see if she was actually hurt, but she simply crawled on, on hands and knees, partially dragged by the other who didn’t seem to care if her friend was dead or alive.

It must have been an hour later when my friend noted, "This is making me way too horny, man." The place was filled to the roof by chicks. Big ones, small ones, all colors of the rainbow. You couldn’t just look away, there were girls all over the place. "Don’t look behind you… I think… we’re surrounded." Seriously though, Never in my life have I seen that many chicks in one room. And all that to see 4 total asswipes.

 

On a side note, we broke the production’s load-out speed record. We tend to do that now and then.

Advertisements

One response

  1. Jenzy

    Hahaha, ik kan mij zo da vrameins op haar dek zien gaan.(imagination, I love it)Harrr

    29 October 2005 at 02:04

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s