Tempting faith

Hee hee these internet quizzes can be so amusing. Besides that, I’m also Chuck Norris, an axe murderer (OJ Simpson) and I know my gangsta lingo better than Mr. dogg himself.

Chuck Norris is damn cool.


Quad bikes are expensive, impractical, unstable monsters, a cross breed between a small car and a motorbike, inheriting all disadvantages and no advantages from both. And I fucking want one.

Seriously. Prices on eBay vary from 3,500 euro to 9,000 and more, and I still want one. I’ve been wanting one since I was twelve, but I’m actually considering buying one right now. I found a shop that takes spread payments, so I actually could.

Should I? Shouldn’t I? I already have a monthly fee to my father, and my job isn’t exactly very secure, especially during winters. There’s no way I can keep my unemployment income until the thing is fully paid for (4 years from now max), so I might have to pick up a "real" job on the way. Then again, having my own transportation would allow me to get jobs independently of a driver.

I’m fearing I have become the materialist I’ve been warning people about. Then again, I can’t possibly keep up the situation that I’m in, so I’ll have to adapt some time. This would also mean no travelling anytime soon, and no other crazy "let’s just do it dude" ideas. But it would be a childhood dream come true, so why shouldn’t I? I think I’m just going to drop all this bullshit and just, go for it.


Several times a week I find myself thinking, ‘relationships are just not my thing.’ I have never had any complaints about being a good friend or not, but when it comes to being a boyfriend, lord do I suck. I’m way too practical to be romantic, too macho to go and say "I miss you" even when I do, and too fond of my own time to actually miss someone as fast as she misses me.

I only really had 3 relationships in my life, 2 of which are hardly worth mentioning. Qua amount of time, anyway; I don’t mean to say the girls themselves aren’t. The only one that has lasted longer than 2 months, being 4 years (holy fucking yikes), is the one I’m in at the moment, and it groans and rattles all over. I’m an arrogant asshole and she’s a demanding control freak.

It’s damn hard not to take a lover for granted. As with many things, you only really realize what you have, once it’s gone. Or, you tend to overestimate it until you have it again. To be honest I’m inclined to believe the second.

There was this girl some time ago who remotely suggested to hit the sack with her when I was with my current girlfriend. I told her no of course, cursing my own damn monogamous convictions.  I was told to be honest with my girlfriend and tell her about it (Thanks a Lot for that, by the way), so now she’s still dealing with it, throwing it at my head whenever appropriate or not. It was only recently that I spit back at her that I wasn’t I who slept with someone else when we were apart.

It’s been over 6 months, and still it fucking bothers me that she slept with that shit. Not that I wouldn’t have fucked the prettier half of Belgium’s female population and some of the uglier ones out of curiosity if I had the chance, but my lacking social skills sort of got in the way there. But still, she pisses about me "hanging around girls who tried to fuck me", but she still hangs around the guy she actually fucked repeatedly. All that shit about "I never really enjoyed it" or even the attempts towards "he wasn’t as good as you" only sound like empty excuses to me.

If things get better once her exams are done (I’m giving it that much slack), I don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t stay with her for the rest of my life. I’d regret only having slept with one girl, but nothing I can’t get over. If it were up to me (as opposed to my weak male mind) I’ll stay monogamous until the day I die. In my opinion, staying true to your partner easily surpasses the cheap thrills of sex.

Relationship problems, the only ones not bothered by them are either extremely lucky or lonely. I manage to take them to a new level, mainly because of the inconsiderate asshole I suppose I am.


One response

  1. Kwinten

    I\’d say wait with the quad thing…
    I think it will bring you nothing but grief and problems. Remember that gut feeling we discussed a few months back?? This is this kinda thing…
    But it\’s your life.
    In your love life, trust your own gut feeling.

    14 June 2006 at 18:51

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