It is better to fade away than to burn out.
If you’re going to get into a fight, have the last say. If your boss is going to tell you you’re a lousy scaff team because you’re not holding on to the tower the way he would, make sure to tell him to fuck off.
I don’t know, I’m only human. What I do know is, don’t fucking come tell me I suck at my job when I’m cold, tired, miserable and doing my best to please You. It will go a little something like this.
"You’re the worst scaff team."
– "Will you quit stressing out? We’re doing our best here."
The guy climbs up, yanks what I was holding from my hands and demonstrates a different but equally effective way to pass on scaff pipes. "You’re supposed to stand like this, with your leg over the diagonal."
– "Sure man, whatever makes you happy."
He climbs down, repeating "You’re the worst scaff team."
– "See- that’s what I was saying. Will you shut up?"
– "Well you are. You refuse to handle 3 meter verticals."
– "I can’t balance them. What does it have to do with this, anyway? Others here can, and besides half of your own "hard-core" team can’t work with them either."
– "Back in England-" (This guy is as Belgian as I am)
I’m beginning to get a little pissed, yelling at him from 8 meters up, "Does this seem England to you?? This is Belgium, and we’re your crew."
– "I used to work at RoadRunner and-"
– "I don’t give a single Shit what you did with your life. Honestly."
– "I’m just telling you what your crew boss isn’t."
– "Our crew chief has less experience than I do. And, the critisism she gives is constructive, as opposed to the moaning you’re giving us. Call the office, they sent me here knowing my capabilities. Don’t come piss to us."
My colleague kept gesturing at me "Cool iiiit…" but I had it. And I had the last say, too. All he could come up with was a green little chuckle.
I’m beginning to think my job at RoadRunner has peaked. This conversation summarizes my day perfectly (Oh no wait. Add wet clothes, icy rain and hard wind to it) and it’s the first this month (The 17th). After having done Tool, Rock Werchter and a few others I had my goals set on, I’m getting the feeling I’ve pretty much seen it. It’s not a matter of giving up, more like moving on. I would love to start at a record store or something, take it easy for a while.
Okay, you don’t get the work-out, pretty awesome colleagues and free concerts, but things are gradually getting so slow I’m beginning to wonder if it’s still worth the trouble. I’m broke, frustrated and I spend my days at home without job. This year’s annual "raise" was the introduction of a new system that, in the long run, left me with less money than before. They’re fucking me over and it’s starting to get a little sore.
Maybe it’s temporary, I sure hope so. If only a few details were different and I’d do this for the rest of my life.
Meh. Could, would, should. We’ll see what the future brings.