That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

That’s the way the stomach rumbles

Microsoft at this point is going, "Dude, what the fuck. Emo little shit, aren’t you." I think I broke a record on diary entries.

Okay so. Dublin. Preparations.
Plane is leaving Wednesday the 31st at… Um shit I deleted the confirmation email. Christ.

That’s the way the bee bumbles

Get-together 26th? Get answer. And ask for confirmation email, you dolt. Arrange house rental thing.
That’s the way the needle pricks




  • Clean up the house. Dishes (put that on the last-minute list).
  • Eat food that spoils.
  • Find warm pants.
  • Buy gear: Rucksack, camera.
  • Batteries! Also, fix MP3s on player.
  • Get travel pass.
  • Pack: Bank card device for transitions on-the-go.

That’s the way the glue sticks


  • Turn off boiler.
  • Dishes.
  • Don’t forget toothbrush.
  • LOCK DOOR and put bike inside.

That’s the way the potato mashes

After 15 years without the slightest complaint, I’m getting a tooth ache. Now of all times. A tooth in the back of my mouth has literally split in half and seems to be hollow, so one distracted moment while eating and I will spend the following two hours in pain as I bite down straight to the nerve. It’s starting to ache spontaneously now too. Wouldn’t it be funny if I ended up where-ever with an abscess? Hysterical.

That’s the way the pan flashes

My passport has expired. For about a full year now, but despite repeated reminders and threats with fines I never bothered to get a new one, it would only get me in trouble anyhow. I’ve been meaning to get it replaced for about a month now, but with work, roommate and other problems on my mind, I never got around to it. It’s quite a trip to my old town where I still officially reside, you know.

The guy behind the counter, although he is an acquaintance (In Heusden, everyone is), was not amused when I explained things to him. Being a bureaucrat, he takes this shit very seriously. I was technically two weeks late to get my new passport in time, and he was not inclined to speed up the process and get me a temporary copy. Instead, I had to pay €80 for a travel pass which is supposed to overrule all of this and lasts 5 years. The good part is that I can go where ever I want with it, including any location outside of Europe. However it’s supposed to be done the 30th, and I don’t trust these pen lickers even the slightest.

Oh well. If I miss my plane because they fucked up again, I’m catching some last minute ride to Buttfuck, Alaska and get out of here anyway.

That’s the way the market crashes

Did I mention I’m not exactly sure of this? Despite a "que sera, sera" philosophy and the image of self-confidence I try to be, I still have no clue what I’m doing, let alone how I’m going to do it.

Also, I’m scared of flying. To the point where I start amusing myself, and that’s damn deep. Last time I was in a plane was for work, to England to build the Isle of Wight festival. It was a type of Boeing that apparently shifts it engines before landing, producing a roar that goes through the whole plane. I damn near shat myself, I swear to god. After we had landed I finally let go of the back rest of the seat in front of me, and it had my sweat trickling down. The things a little turbulence can do to a man’s mind.

That’s the way the whip lashes

How a closed mind like mine is going to reach out to others for help, is beyond me, as well. I suppose that makes sense, since I can’t see beyond the limits of it, but even my imagination has a hard time coping with the idea. I mean, let’s be honest. A different location isn’t going to miraculously change the attitude that took 20 years in the making, is it?

That’s the way the teeth gnashes

I’m cleaning up my place thoroughly right now (okay not at this very moment. I’m getting to it, damn it!) and by that I mean thorough. I’m vacuuming, holy shit. Why? Because First of all I don’t want to come home and find my work laid out for me, but secondly because I plan on letting people live here while I’m gone. This place is still a mess, beer cans and dirty dishes all over, clothes scattered about and a floor you don’t want to get too close to. All this still originates from when my roommate was still around and you had 2 single guys in a 3-room house. So yeah, things tend to get a little dirty then.

That’s the way the gravy stains

Do you know where Australian mudcrawlers live? They are actually bunched together like bananas, high up in a palm tree over a river. And they can swim like the best, they just don’t know it. So they sit up there, in the sun, staring down at the cool water and saying to each other, "Gosh Darnit that water sure looks good. But letting go and going for a swim is very risky. We should need someone to show us it can be done before we ever consider doing that."

And then once in a while, a young mudcrawler steps forward, or slithers upward, and says, "Gosh Darnit that water looks fine. We have fins, we have gills, we were made to swim! So then, here I go!" And he lets go, much to the horror of the other mudcrawlers. He splashes in the water, swims a few circles, and pops up again.

"The water is fantastic," he shouts, while the others cheer him on, "Good job! How we wish we could join you!"

"I am going for a swim," he says. "I am going to see the world! Who wants to come with me? The water is great and look, we can swim like the best! Who wants to come?"

And they cheer. "Good job! You be safe out there! How we wish we could join you!"

There’s a moral to the story.
Get it.

That’s the way the moon wanes

-Tom Waits


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