All Things Considered

It’s weird seeing people fight in public, especially couples. Suddenly, you’re sucked into the most intimate of moments between two people and I don’t know about you, but all I can do is snicker to myself. Now don’t get me wrong, as most people do: I laugh with myself as much as with anybody else. Back when my girlfriend turned out to be a lesbian and just barely cared enough to tell me over the phone, first thing I did was sit down and laugh.

So yeah. I was walking home the other day (I have a daily routine now, you know) and passed by a couple who, oddly, walked with me as they fought. They just came barging out of a house as I went by, and proceeded to share their deepest issues with the world, specifically myself. Kind of went something like this:

Girl: “It’s always the same with you. It’s always what you want.” She was physically chasing him at this point.

“You know that’s not true! You remember last week when I did all of that for you?”

“Oh yeah great, that was just that once. But who asked you to come barging in now?” I was under the impression that they had an on-and-off relationship or something of the sort, and he wasn’t really welcome, anymore. This made it kind of strange that she was following him as he stormed off, the irony of which she suddenly seemed to realize, as she stopped. So did he.

“Well everything is perfect, then, right?? I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back. You’re finally rid of me!” I could hear the slightest hint of his voice cracking, and could sense that he didn’t mean it. Perhaps it was his lack of tact, or bad timing, but he had come back for a reason that he had failed to explain.

Her reaction however, made her point clear.

– “…Am I really? Because I just know you’ll come back.”

As a mere passer-by, even I could feel the sting of her words stab right through him, and me, at that moment behind him. I had a sudden urge to go “Ooooh that must have hurt” but I kept my quiet pace.
He for one, didn’t know what to say. The best he could muster was:

“F-… Fine! I’m going!” And he turned around and left. I expected him to pass me by again but he disappeared somewhere in a garage or driveway.

I’m not sure why I’m going on about this, it’s just something that stuck inside my head, quite like chewing gum under a school desk. Maybe he has apologized by now, or was true to his word for once and kept away. I’ll never know, and rather wouldn’t anyway- I got my own shit to keep track of. I just hope they’re both alright and leave it at that. Nobel enough for your typical egocentric state citizen, I would think.

While we’re on the subject- All Was Going Well. This one-minute short stings quite the same way. Hooray for awkward.

So I guess I’ll have to demonstrate yet again, that just because they can’t, doesn’t mean that I can’t, either.

This is something I caught myself doing, too: To project the lack of enthusiasm and early stage of problem solving (which is problem detecting) onto anyone with a great idea. “You know how difficult that is, right? I mean, there’s this and that to consider, not to mention all sorts of issues with irritating individuals like myself who seem out to discourage you.”

When you are one of those people –and everyone is sometimes-, learn to shut the fuck up. I’ve encountered your kind so many times in my life, and if there is something holding people back from becoming the best they can be, it’s you. When an idea is proposed and you have nothing to do with it, get that straight and shut the fuck up, your opinion is not appreciated. The right phrase is “Wow man, I never would have thought of that (because I’m a douchebag). If you need any financial support or discouragement, contact me and I can provide you.” That way you’re still honest, without bringing down someone with better ideas than yours out of sheer jealousy or whatever makes you tick.

With just about everything I’ve done or intended to do in my 26 years, there have been people watching, shaking their heads and yelling their unasked and unappreciated opinions. I bet your ass some dumbshit uncle was watching me take my first steps saying “Are you certain about that? You’ll surely fall.”

It’s been a long, exhausting month for me and it’s about to end in complete suckage. I’m going through yet another fucking rough patch, topped off by the confrontation with new boyfriends who, granted, are nice enough (I went into that before) but not quite material to be dumped for.

I’ve been over and over this before so I’m not going to, again. Consider it an apology for inconsistent, aggressive writing and short temper in real life, should you notice/care.

If you’ll excuse me now, I have sand in my vagina.


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