There’s something rotten in this world.
Somewhere, inside something else, there’s a core of something so fucked up, that it influences our behavior and twists any good intentions into some watered-down excuse for a solution to whatever problem was created by similar goals. It’s all around us, thick enough to smell and most are ignorant to it, or simply choose to continue as they are.
It’s what pays for the manager parties of NGO’s that are supposed to tackle world poverty. It’s what makes us coat passive buildings in polluting insulation material. It’s what makes us want to solve the world’s problems without raising taxes.
It’s what makes us believe that we couldn’t possible have less and be more. How we won’t allow for improvement to come at cost of anything at all, putting us on a one-way train to Buttfuck, Alaska.
One day, the world will end, and every single soul will stand in one immense circle, and point to the person next to him, demanding to make things better. Extremely offended, loudly, that he too is being pointed at.
We demand. All day long. Demand luxury. Demand solutions. Answers. Scream, demand, louder as our demands are met, smothering that decaying core with denial.
It’s maddening to see. You stare, wide-eyed, in wonder what drove us to this insanity. The irony of it all surrounds us like pea soup and makes it hard to move sometimes, hard to do anything at all, knowing that your efforts will only be twisted to feed our greed, our gluttony, even more.
It seems broken beyond repair and I wouldn’t even know where to start, not even knowing what “it” is supposed to be. It’s a twisted little knot in our collective unconscious that asks for things that simply can’t be done without dooming us all. As a collective, we obey the call and work furiously to make things worse. Just “making ends meet”, we nullify our own efforts to turn things around and manage to destroy what others built, and vice versa.
If –when- the world will end, it will be because of our inability to rise beyond this missing link in our dangerously quickly evolved psyche. And bastards that we are, we as a race, wouldn’t deserve any better.
There’s something elegant in this world.
I have no clue what it is, that triggers this sensation inside our brains, that makes us notice, stop, and watch simply because we find something beautiful. There’s no actual use for it and in a world of synthesized impressions, we can still see it in unintended things. Things ugly per definition can come together and become part of a certain harmony that seems to reverberate all through this planet.
It’s quite easy to spot too, although everyone has a different eye for it. How a city’s pollution makes for an amazing sunset, or the simple shift of hues as seasons pass. We respond to it and I don’t think it’s a coincidence: Often we will find things “beautiful” simply because they are part of that larger entity that we recognize. The force that moves planets and triggered evolution, that bends light to color and warms your back as you walk home on a summer evening.
I can’t shake the unfounded feeling that somewhere beyond our perception, these intangible processes are intertwined, woven like a blanket that will eventually come down to comfort us on the moment we die, and become part of it.
There’s no explanation why a human being would be impressed by a landscape, the presence of another, or a sound, to the point where they simply sit down and enjoy it to the fullest extent. None, but for the recognition, the understanding that might take place, that what is observed is merely another facet of something bigger, something that carries us and at a basic level, we have an enormous gratitude for. Something meant to be enjoyed.
I’m not a particularly religious or spiritual person (besides some analyzing tendencies) but the idea that there is some thing there, sheds new light on known situations. Some huge mass of sweet music, feminine curves, striking colors and cool breezes. Not necessarily sentient but all the more powerful.
Do you think animals would see it? If they can enjoy a friendly touch and obey sexual selection, surely they must have some notion of beauty and grace? Would they agree on starlit skies and Norwegian fjords?
Our whole culture might be founded on our awareness of, and search for this blessing, and we’ll probably never reach it. But clearly, our common notion of beauty is based on something, and something that we are all aware of might as well physically exist. The good and evil inside all of us, materialized to things we can literally grasp and understand. What a luxury that would be.