The Feels

I can’t remember what it’s called but there’s this table of character traits that categorize people based on 5-ish questions, and labels you with a combination of latters depending if you’re artistic or not, extroverted or introverted, emotional or logical thinker, and so on. I remember doing one of those tests and they would suggest jobs for me based on the results. I found it very interesting, until their little computer suggested I’d become a concierge in a church- I kid you not. This was the only suggestion, no alternatives.
I joined the army 2 months later.

Still, when you look, you can see those corner stones in people, those character traits. Obviously they’re not black and white like the test would have you believe, and it’s absurd to think it’s where a personality ends, but it’s interesting to apply those simple questions to the people you know. It makes it easier to define certain traits and think further on them.

And recently, I have come to the conclusion that in general, I’m not a big fan of emotional thinkers.

Stating the obvious: This is a general impression and is very open to exceptions. I just find it difficult to completely trust people who let emotion dictate their thinking, and trust is an important thing to me.

I’m pretty sure all of my girlfriends would have turned out in the “emotional” category, a few of them even in the deep end. And hell, I have emotions too, even if said girlfriends often claimed otherwise.

The problem with emotion is its inconsistency. I can feel completely different one day to the next, even though my situation is unchanged. And I might get quiet and a little moody, but I realize that the cause is internal and there’s no reason to doubt the things around me.
Emotional thinkers tend to let their state of mind color their opinion on things, and might even blame those things. Things like me and you. So that when you talk to them, their reaction depends on how they feel that day.

There’s a guy I know who just ended his relationship because she treated him like a distant friend when he came to visit her on the job. Intolerably so, like he explained it. But 2 rational seconds later, I decided for myself that if anyone were to do that to me, I might accept it as a professional attitude. Some jobs -like store manager- just don’t allow for you to be eating faces in the doorway. For him, it was enough reason to break up with what he called the love of his life.

If he had allowed her to explain (he was boasting that he had not), perhaps she could have told him that. It’s something I feel like I have to do a lot in my relationships: explain myself. Which is absolutely fine, if I at least get the benefit of the doubt until I get the chance. But with an emotional thinker, that tends to depend on their mood.

They’ll love you with all their heart, until they don’t, and then you’re fucked. I can understand; sometimes a thing can feel like the best thing in the world, and sometimes you feel it’s completely backwards. If you can locate the problem calmly and address it, that’s fine. If you base your actions on emotion, you can end up with destructive behavior.

I might give off the impression that I’m “against” feelings but if you hadn’t figured this one out yet: That wouldn’t even make any sense. Like I said, I get feelings too. Occasionally.
I just don’t feel it’s a good idea to act upon them. You’ll end up destroying what you worked for, or make decisions you’ll regret- How could you regret a decision you know was the best thing to do at the time?
So now this guy is back to square one, and one moment he is celebrating, the next he’s regretting everything relevant or not.

It’s not just me annoyed with it (see? feelings right there) but I see those people blocking themselves from being happy. How ironic: They can’t allow themselves happiness because they can’t keep all the other emotions in check. I know they don’t choose for it, but perhaps they should. Surely, even for the most emotionally chaotic (with sanity), it must be possible to calm the fuck down for a few moments and think rationally? Or is that really so hard to find in the mist of thoughts generated by the emotional response to a situation?

Maybe I am, in fact, emotionless. But how could that be, considering how easily I get angry sometimes?
I feel like quite often, I give an emotional response without feeling the actual emotion, mostly in the negative spectrum. I shout and curse, even though I’m really not that angry at all. I can still think clearly, and I don’t think I would make important decisions differently just because I’m a little upset.

So when a trivial event knocks the wind out of someone, I just don’t understand why. In fact, they often end up telling me about it because I ask, which might explain why my best (and girl-)friends are like that.
I do tend to trust my girlfriend, though… Perhaps, if I were more of an emotional thinker, I wouldn’t, so much. But then I would probably be the jealous type to begin with.

“Rational Thinker” is way up on the list of things I am grateful for, right there with “Never Getting Sick” and “Flash Metabolism.” It has allowed me to overcome frustrations and learn to do things, take the right decisions in the most difficult of circumstances, and be awesome when awesome was needed. Emotions can take you for a ride and obviously life would be a drag without them, but when I see those who base their decisions on them, I feel (!) very relieved I was born my cork dry self.


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